You Have Decided to Fake Your Own Death How Will You Do It Funny
Decide whether or not you really want to do this.
Faking your death is against the law almost everywhere. Does your situation really warrant a death-fake? Can you just move away? Are you being melodramatic? Are there any alternatives? You should only do this if you keep feeling that faking your own death is the only way to start over or escape, and you have no viable alternatives.
Understand the implications of faking your own death. You'll be able to have no contact with any friends or relatives. If you decide to let them in on it, they'll most likely call the police or betray you in the end. If you must let anyone know, try an understanding friend who will - for whatever reason - never rat you out to the police, family or general public.
Stop using anything that will be traceable back to you.
Understand that you cannot use email accounts, memberships, cell-phones, or any other personal details from your old life, after you have faked your own death. This is probably the trickiest of all things to get sorted before you actually do the deed.
Since money is necessary to start your new life, gradually withdraw cash from an account leading up to your fake death, and leave behind things like credit cards and other documents. Clearing it completely may arouse suspicion. However, if you're in a hurry, draw out a massive amount, but leave a little behind to erase suspicion.
Watch out for little things that may give you away.
Avoiding acting fishy beforehand. Also, remember not to use personal laptops, computers or mobile phones (unless you can change the sim card) afterwards; these can be used to trace you once you're gone. Plus, people might notice that they're missing.
Decide on a death method.
Suicide is probably the easiest bet. While it may be hard for loved ones to stomach, if it's obvious your "death" is a suicide, innocent people won't be accused of your "murder". Also, suicide is a more open and shut case: chances are, people will be less searching of CCTV footage and personal records etc if they know you "killed" yourself, rather than mysteriously disappearing.
Another option is "getting lost at sea." In most coastal states, it is possible to fake your death when "lost at sea." If you are missing at sea for at least six days with no communication and sufficient evidence of possible death at sea (returned belongings or parts of a ship) you will be declared dead. This method may be difficult as the price is an entire ship; still, it might be less unsettling to those you love than suicide. Doing this might also lower likelihood of accountability if you are caught in your new life.
Do it.
Plant a note for your "suicide" before disappearing. Travel out of the city as far as you can, and start again with a new identity. Be free.
Eliminate all contact with people from your old life.
Unfortunately, most people who've faked their own deaths screw up this part of the process by cashing in on the insurance check they hoped to get, or getting a speeding ticket. If you want to get away with it, you've got to disappear completely.
Start by hiding out for a few weeks somewhere close by, like a cheap flophouse hotel for a few weeks to lay low. Load up on groceries and hide out watching detective shows on TV while the police decide to give up on finding you. When you have to go out, wear a disguise.
Come up with an alternate identity.
Who do you want to be, now that the old you is dead? A suave gambler and poet from South Carolina, who decided to forego his family's tuna cannery inheritance and move to Australia to work on cars? A small town bartender who had to move to the bright lights of LA? Decide who you'll want to be, and start working on:
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Your new name. Practice signing it, saying it, and introducing yourself with your new name. Make it awesome. Jackson Saint-Bloodrock? Pleased to meet you.
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Your new style. How will you craft your new image? Get clothes that are different from your old way of dressing and that will mask the new you people might see in the old you. Dress in such a way that you'd be able to walk past your own mother on the street, and she'll never notice you. Grow a beard, shave your head, change your hair color, embrace leather, do whatever you need to do to cultivate a completely different style.
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Your new style. How will you craft your new image? Get clothes that are different from your old way of dressing and that will mask the new you people might see in the old you. Dress in such a way that you'd be able to walk past your own mother on the street, and she'll never notice you. Grow a beard, shave your head, change your hair color, embrace leather, do whatever you need to do to cultivate a completely different style.
Make a fake ID.
Once you've gotten your new identity hammered out and you're using to introducing yourself as Horace McGillicutty, find or consider crafting your own fake documents that will let you start your new life.
Go somewhere you'll be unknown.
Flying will likely be out of the question, unless you've got some great forged documents, but try making your way somewhere far off by hitchhiking safely or taking the bus on the cheap.
Work under the table.
Declaring taxes will be difficult, so working under the table and staying on the move will keep you relatively safe. Consider working migrant labors, heading West and checking out farm labor or other contract work that'll be easier get away with under the table. Mushroom picking in Oregon or California can be lucrative, as well as de-tassling in Indiana and peach-picking in Georgia. Move around and see the country.
Lay low.
Becoming a public figure probably isn't the best idea. Get ready to live a quiet and simple life, socializing little and maintaining a mysterious mist around yourself. When people start to get to close to you, it's time to move on.
Source: http://www-scf.usc.edu/~ijames/acad275/tutorial.html
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